After a long 11-hour shift at work I come home to do some editing on my drawings and I noticed moments after I got home I saw my mom rushing around the house trying to get out the door as quickly as possible. She said to me “We need to go to the hospital right now get up let's go.” I knew exactly why we had to leave but I’ve never seen her rush like this before. The moment we got into the car we get a call from my dad asking us where we are, and we told him we were on our way. Speeding on the highway and getting to the hospital to only find my grandfather in the ICU. About three years ago my grandfather had a tumor start in his eye giving him double vision in one eye and it eventually spread throughout his body. My parents, Uncle, Aunt, Grandmother, and I were waiting for the doctor to give us news on what was happening. He’s been in the hospital multiple times, but this was the first time in the ICU so that’s probably why my mom rushed out of the house quickly. The doctor finally came in and told us “It keeps on getting worse and worse and it would be a miracle if he made it out fine.” My grandmother started to burst into tears knowing it was time. We had options to either let him go slowly or keep him unconscious while they put a tube into his stomach feeding him but that only would have made him last an extra week at most but at the same time it would be causing him a lot of pain. So, we all went into a room to discuss what we wanted to do.
My mind was already made up the moment we got the news and I knew it was time to let him go. My Uncle just asked around the room what everyone wanted to do and why. My dad said, “We can’t let him suffer any longer than he already has the past few years.” Right when he said that I said, “I agree 100%, I think it’s time.” My Mom, Aunt, and Grandmother nodded their heads as we sat in the room in complete silence and it stayed that way for a few minutes with no one else saying a word.
I then started thinking about all the times me and my grandfather watched a Turkish soccer team Beşiktaş. Even though I had no idea what was being said by the announcers I was just happy to be there with him watching the game we both loved. I was younger at the time, so he tried to keep a filter around me, but he couldn’t handle the frustration this team caused him at times and let everything out. All I hear after is my grandmother telling him to watch his language because I was young and every time I would just look at him and smile.
My Dad then said alright let’s get this over with. So, we all got up and went to the doctor and decided to slowly just let him go and that was the end of that. We all had a few moments alone with him because even though he was unconscious he was somehow still able to hear us. As I was talking to him he squeezed my hand and I bursted into tears and everyone else came to stand around him. All of us stayed there till around 2am that night just to be around him and there was already no point in going home because I didn’t sleep that night at all and had to be up the next morning very early regardless.
A few days later I heard my alarm go off and got up to get ready for my shift for work. My dad wasn’t home for some reason and I got really confused because we all walked in together the night before. I was the last to sleep and I saw him sleeping with the T.V. on but I just let it go and carried on with my day. I drove to work and started my shift right away. It was going fine and then I got called to the office and I was saying to myself, “What the hell did I do?” I walk up to my manager all nervous because I didn’t know what to expect at all and all she said to me was, “I’m so sorry about your grandfather.” Now in my head I’m like, “Uh I don’t remember telling you anything about him except that he was diagnosed with cancer, and that was about a year prior to today.” She then told me, “Your dad is here to let you out early.” I apparently walked right passed him as I was going back to her office and he told me that my grandfather passed away and he didn’t want me hearing it from any of the customers at the store because a lot of them knew my grandmother. They most likely would have said something to me about the situation and I would have had a major breakdown in the middle of my shift. We rushed right to my grandmother’s house and I walk into the house with her and two of her closest friends crying and I started to as well. People started coming in and out sending their condolences. I personally stayed there for about 4 days along with one of my cousins just so she wouldn’t be alone and every night the family would get together for dinner just, so my grandmother wouldn’t be alone.
The Day of the funeral came I wake up my cousin and grandmother and told them to get ready. I had to do a reading during church’s mass, so I started going over what I had to read. We get to church, and everyone started coming up to us and said their condolences while we stood next to his casket. The mass in the chapel went by rather quickly for me and we then made our way to the cemetery. How Ironic is it that it was raining that day too? The priest did his final blessing as I look around to see all my grandfather’s close friends just standing around his casket putting their flowers around it. We all did our final goodbyes, but I just couldn’t leave. I just stood still, sobbing, and starred because it was the last time I was ever going to see him above ground. My aunt had to pull me away with all her strength and that was that. I now knew what it was like to lose a loved one and it hit me harder more than anything my entire life.
Losing my grandfather had to be the toughest part of my life considering he is the first family member I have ever lost. Knowing that he was going to suffer if the family made the choice to try keeping him alive would have made us all feel guilty in the long run. I think we made the right choice deciding to let him go but it that night when he was in the ICU for the last time and the day my dad took me out of work early have been burned into my mind and it’s something I surely will never forget.
My mind was already made up the moment we got the news and I knew it was time to let him go. My Uncle just asked around the room what everyone wanted to do and why. My dad said, “We can’t let him suffer any longer than he already has the past few years.” Right when he said that I said, “I agree 100%, I think it’s time.” My Mom, Aunt, and Grandmother nodded their heads as we sat in the room in complete silence and it stayed that way for a few minutes with no one else saying a word.
I then started thinking about all the times me and my grandfather watched a Turkish soccer team Beşiktaş. Even though I had no idea what was being said by the announcers I was just happy to be there with him watching the game we both loved. I was younger at the time, so he tried to keep a filter around me, but he couldn’t handle the frustration this team caused him at times and let everything out. All I hear after is my grandmother telling him to watch his language because I was young and every time I would just look at him and smile.
My Dad then said alright let’s get this over with. So, we all got up and went to the doctor and decided to slowly just let him go and that was the end of that. We all had a few moments alone with him because even though he was unconscious he was somehow still able to hear us. As I was talking to him he squeezed my hand and I bursted into tears and everyone else came to stand around him. All of us stayed there till around 2am that night just to be around him and there was already no point in going home because I didn’t sleep that night at all and had to be up the next morning very early regardless.
A few days later I heard my alarm go off and got up to get ready for my shift for work. My dad wasn’t home for some reason and I got really confused because we all walked in together the night before. I was the last to sleep and I saw him sleeping with the T.V. on but I just let it go and carried on with my day. I drove to work and started my shift right away. It was going fine and then I got called to the office and I was saying to myself, “What the hell did I do?” I walk up to my manager all nervous because I didn’t know what to expect at all and all she said to me was, “I’m so sorry about your grandfather.” Now in my head I’m like, “Uh I don’t remember telling you anything about him except that he was diagnosed with cancer, and that was about a year prior to today.” She then told me, “Your dad is here to let you out early.” I apparently walked right passed him as I was going back to her office and he told me that my grandfather passed away and he didn’t want me hearing it from any of the customers at the store because a lot of them knew my grandmother. They most likely would have said something to me about the situation and I would have had a major breakdown in the middle of my shift. We rushed right to my grandmother’s house and I walk into the house with her and two of her closest friends crying and I started to as well. People started coming in and out sending their condolences. I personally stayed there for about 4 days along with one of my cousins just so she wouldn’t be alone and every night the family would get together for dinner just, so my grandmother wouldn’t be alone.
The Day of the funeral came I wake up my cousin and grandmother and told them to get ready. I had to do a reading during church’s mass, so I started going over what I had to read. We get to church, and everyone started coming up to us and said their condolences while we stood next to his casket. The mass in the chapel went by rather quickly for me and we then made our way to the cemetery. How Ironic is it that it was raining that day too? The priest did his final blessing as I look around to see all my grandfather’s close friends just standing around his casket putting their flowers around it. We all did our final goodbyes, but I just couldn’t leave. I just stood still, sobbing, and starred because it was the last time I was ever going to see him above ground. My aunt had to pull me away with all her strength and that was that. I now knew what it was like to lose a loved one and it hit me harder more than anything my entire life.
Losing my grandfather had to be the toughest part of my life considering he is the first family member I have ever lost. Knowing that he was going to suffer if the family made the choice to try keeping him alive would have made us all feel guilty in the long run. I think we made the right choice deciding to let him go but it that night when he was in the ICU for the last time and the day my dad took me out of work early have been burned into my mind and it’s something I surely will never forget.